So you think that weddings are just for the girls? Do you feel lost in conversations about the differences between sparkle organza and satinette? Are peach pomegranete and apricot melon pretty much the same color with different names to you?
Then join the men’s club.
From the movies to real life, the ladies are completely engrossed in the wedding from start to finish, while the guys are always the ones lost in translation. No more. Welcome to the guys’ guide to understanding the basics of weddings. Here, men learn about the key features of their upcoming wedding using analogies they’re all familiar with: sports, fishing, and girls.
1. The Guestlist
The first task a groom-to-be has to face is the guest list. Choosing who to invite, guys, is exactly like picking your fantasy football team. First, you’ve got a salary cap – or budget – with which to choose players with. Ten thousand bucks will get you, let’s say, 50 guests. Although some details differ from situation to situation, the rules are basically the same. Choose the guests that will make the best TEAM, not necessarily picking individual stars. So although it might make financial sense to invite the insanely wealthy Great-Aunt What’s-Her-Name, you might want to opt for your future sister-in-law’s boyfriend, Blaze, just so the maid of honor doesn’t pout through every family wedding photo. Good luck, but just remember… in this fantasty league, you’re only the head coach. The General Manager wears the engagement ring, and you know she’s ultimately callin’ the shots.
2. Wedding Colors and Design
Next mission men, is choosing the colors and design of the wedding. This is just like fishing. Whether your ideal catch is bass or bluegill, mahimahi or papio, every fisherman knows you’ve gotta choose the size, color, and action for that special lure to hook your catch. That’s exactly her line of thinking when she’s choosing the colors and design of your wedding. Whether she admits it or not, your blushing bride has methodically planned exactly what her wedding will look like over the past 22 years, and she knows exactly what end result she wants… even though she might not know exactly how to make it happen. Yet. So although all those meetings with the wedding coordinator to match the flowers to the linens to the ballroom walls to your eye color make your head spin, don’t worry. It’s her lure, and she knows what she wants: the perfect design to catch her trophy wedding.
3. Cherish the Day
Finally, subconsciously or intentionally, guys sort girls into two groups: girls to date, and the girl to marry. In that exclusive second group is Miss Right – not Miss Right-Now – the special girl who that lucky boy knows he’s going to respect, cherish, and love forever. If special events were sorted into those two groups, backyard barbecues, company christmas parties, pub nights, and birthdays would be in the first group. Weddings would stand alone in group two. Cherish this sacred event, and treat your wedding as an extension of your fiancee herself. Listen to her reasons as you negotiate the perfect guest list. Watch her try on wedding gowns just to tell her how beautiful she looks. Take part in a designer meeting or two to let her know you care. Just like in your future lives together, you don’t have to be there every single moment of the day. Just by doing the little things that count, and approaching life as partners, it’ll all work out in the end.